fine

need those steps to carry you forward

as one takes one foot and places it in front of the next, what is pushing her forwards? what holds her up as she falters in her breath and her choice? what is holding her upright as she looks down and sees unfamiliarity?

will you hold on even when the times become rough? will you be there even when no one else is. when no one extends their hand toward you because they would rather look the other way.

hear that laugh disappear so quickly you thought you missaw. see you and see him bind themselves into one. look up but down even faster so you do not trip when the unforeseen manifests itself as a chip on your shoulder.

let’s all go together. to the one who was, who is, and who will forever be.

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i will be fine. we always turn out fine.

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What Would I Give

So much frustration is on my mind right now. It honestly seems as if I’ve become one of those I’ve only read, or heard of before. You know those people whom never say no to anything, or promise to do whatever you ask them to? I feel as if I’ve succumbed to becoming one of “those”. It can be rather frustrating sometimes. I feel as if I have no time to myself or even to be with my Father. Time that I want to set aside to blog, to do my devotionals, to just do what I love, to be with who I want. I’m so tired.

Maybe this post can be seen as a sad post. As it is filled with my complaints and also anger as I express my thoughts from the past week. Of deadlines looming. Of marks being received. Of people’s expectations falling flat, or being set too high. There’s just too much that I have to be accountable for. Unfortunately, that was the image I built for myself over the years.

One of the bravest things I’ve done over the course of this year so far was talking to you 🙂 I am still rather giddy about it and cannot believe I had the courage or strength to do so. I believe it was the Holy Spirit that was within me to allow the words I’ve wanted to tell you since Day One I saw you, to flow through me.

Unfortunately, do we have much to talk about? No, I do not think so. Although at times, I believe we do favour and desire each other’s company. However, the lack of chemistry  or history is still rather blatant in the silences that fill the air between us. My questions are prodding at times. You still seem to want to answer them wholeheartedly.

But I feel as if this is not how friendships are developed. The strain and also the worry of wanting to not disappoint the other is … disappointing in itself. And even learning that you are not what I thought you to be, I was extremely giddy to learn that you were at the event on a Sunday. You surprised me. The Lord did answer my prayers. I would want to know how the event went for you.

I feel as if my blog posts are incomprehensible for those whom do not know the foreground knowledge that comes within my posts. Just know, I would give anything in the world for us to work. You have currently become my most favouritest person in this world, thus far.

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With Strength We Embark!

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It truly has been a long time since my fingers have tapped out audible words which appear on the screen in front of you.

This year has been a bit of a roller-coaster. Though not as much as the one back in 2013, the changes this year has thrown onto my doorstep, has been a bit shocking, but happy and also surprisingly wonderful shocks. As I had once said it to a dear companion, I have had “shock attacks” this year, which, in the pretense would not be understood by, except my companion and I.

Starting at yet another post-secondary institution (3 in 3 years!) has been a bit tough on me. Though I am at times, a tougher nut to crack than a walnut (except around my nutcracker friends), I am thankful regardless of where and whom I may meet. For all the memories I make, I know them to be a part of God’s great plan. My footprints and fingerprints, whichever and whatever they may touch, it was meant to be.

One may ask, for how do I know whether this or that, was part of His plan? I do not have much to say (which is surprising at times!), my faith is not built on anything, but His love for me. His love makes me speechless and also full of words that do not necessarily have to be said to be felt or be understood. Those whom have been touched and changed by our Father will understand what it is that I am referring and hold myself dear to.

There is much that I hope to complete by the end of this summer. This semester has become somewhat of a whirlwind as the focus has shifted away from academics, and more onto commitments that I have found much more important than grades.

I pray for my church’s VBS. I pray that we may have enough volunteers and also that those whom do commit their time, will have His wisdom and strength in leading our wonderful group of kids. I pray that our Church will be a loving place where kids may come to learn and grow to love our God for “Ever(est)”. I pray that I may come to be strong and healthy for all that calls for my time and effort during this summer. Lastly, I pray that for all the journeys, trips, marriages, and even the simplest of walks that my friends embark on, they may be safe on their voyages. May they come to walk closer to God with each step. May they come to know of His great love. May they come to have courage in sharing it with others. May we all come to be great disciples in His name and make more under His GREAT NAME!

I am getting rather excited. I’m afraid I’ll have to close it at that.

Take care & blessings,

G

Charge On!

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It is done. All done.

Students of all ages look forward to the day when exams, assignments, tutorials, lectures, and deadlines come to an end. With that day comes freedom; at least for a couple of weeks.

Summer 2014. What a summer. New experiences, new friendships, new self-discoveries. I would not trade this Summer over for anything.

In regards for our VBS camp… I am so very proud! Watching 45 kids learn, dance, sing, rejoice, and praise our God was astounding. For those kids whom this experience was a first to learn about our God, having such devoted and amazing leaders and teachers to explain our God and what he does is good. God is good! Everything turned out great in the end even despite some hiccups in staff scheduling. I can’t wait for next years’ camp!

School-wise, I am satisfied with how I had come about tackling the numerous tasks school brings. Not as uptight as I previously was, but still cared enough to not completely let myself down. I think all of us care about everything to some extent. Can’t wait for next semesters’ classes!

Spiritually, I found I did not put enough time aside to be with my Father. This is a huge flaw that I constantly am angry with myself about. It is slowly getting better as I have more time on my hands now, however, I wish that this could be a consistent even when I have other commitments happening alongside.

To up my time-management is a daunting task as it has never been my forte – but bring it on! In Him, I believe I can do anything.

Pillars of strength

Like the many pillars that surround this tree, holding it, supporting it, against all that may try to break it down, we all have close ones that do the same. So don’t ever take advantage or forget them, because one day they might just give up on trying, as it seems to make no difference anyways, they presume. 

Like the many pillars that surround this tree, holding it, supporting it, against all that may try to break it down, we all have close ones that do the same. So don’t ever take advantage or forget them, because one day they might just give up on trying, as it seems to make no difference anyways, they presume.