Let Me In

Yet another time comes by where it seems I can’t focus on much. I can’t accomplish much without having to be distracted by a fleeting thought of “What is your name?”. Has this happened to me before? Yes, actually – quite recently, in the July of this year. It seems the cycle is not lengthening as it has in the past, but it has become such of a shorter routine. I have come to become quite easily mesmerized; quite simply because of traits I vie for in myself, but have often come short of.

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This moment – which I will come to describe, is quite paradoxical really. I have always done this to someone else, yet I have never come to experience it myself.

Seeing you out of the corner of my peripheral vision, I contemplated whether it would be surprising for me to speak to you. For when I spoke to him this year, it took my utmost amount of courage I had conjured up – yet when I was faced with the same decision yesterday, I could not do it. Possibly it was also because of the mood I was in – moody, indecisive, and longing for more.

You sat behind me. I looked far into the skies and the trees, seeming to search for more. Where I looked, you also saw. When I hastily looked away from inside the passenger’s seat, you followed suit. You seemed to trace every sight I lay my eyes upon. Your scent was not sweet, nor was it savoury. Not even an inch close to what he once smelled like. You had your own unique scent that was.

For when I pulled the cord to signal my departure – I was a bit hoping you would also take the same descent as me. I had no courage to look behind me – to see whether you were following me out. I have become one that is more cowardice than vice. Either it be that I am growing up, or that I have become much less passionate to chase what I want; I only regret not taking that chance.


What is your name? 

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Give Thanks

Life can be really hectic; at instances where you may expect it the least. However busy I may get, I still stop and give thanks. Why? Because without Him, we wouldn’t be here at all. Healthy and strong, striving to put away each day with the utmost satisfaction and pleasure we can hope to obtain.

In one month, my world had been turned upside down. From the peace and calmness of tranquility I had been so used to for the past six months, deadlines and perfection to succeed had replaced it. But it also brought a sense of belonging and drive that I had been so dearly missing ever since that day which brought stagnant objectives.

I hope to be able to somehow balance life, love, friendships, happiness, thankfulness, and joy to those around me. Including those whom I only get a glimpse of as I pass them by on my commute home, or through the halls. You never know, even a friendly wave could brighten someone’s day when they’re feeling the lowest of lows.

I give thanks, because He provided. I give thanks, because He deserves our acknowledgement. I give thanks, because of each passing day being a reality. I give thanks, because He is always there. I give thanks, because I can.

I give thanks.

Astonished

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This memory was from a while back, but seeing as I have switched sites… I still wanted this piece to be here.

It’s always these unexpected moments that I never would think come that eventually do come knocking in the end. After seeing you like that I really can’t say anything else. You took my breath away. What with your smile, your surprised look of seeing me there, and most of all; the classy appearance you could pull off even with the simple cords that no one else would dare to sport. You amaze me and just make me wish that I could be someone great. To be someone that could somehow catch up or possibly surpass your abilities. I truly cannot fathom what it was about seeing you back there that I can’t stop thinking about.

The gray suit jacket with the brown padded elbows, the quirky yet stylish grape purple tie that I’m certain no one else would dare wear on a day like this and the orange high-tops anyone sane would not even touch the day of; oh, those black cords that I have loved seeing on you from Day One.

Am I possibly already in too deep. Or are all these emotions even lucid enough to think about? I think what I’m just glad in itself is that I met you, and where we stand as of now, I only thank those whom bring laughter and happiness into my life. I really have nothing else to ask for. Thankfulness is all I have.