What You Remind Me Of

“I saw you as a nice and pretty girl”.

It’s funny how sometimes what others say, can have an enormous impact on you.

I remember the first time I met you. You came, as if the wind had blown you in. Hair was disheveled, with a lopsided scowl on your face. You did not seem as if you wanted to be there; but were instead forced to.

Your voice is young. The words you use were coarse, but truthful. You encouraged us to try our best. And when the time approached – you disappeared just a few seconds tad of early.

I wanted you to be mine. I was glad, because I had you with me. I didn’t see much of anything, except through the eyes of you.

But sometimes, what we forget is that love is Him. He gave us everything in exchange for our love. But we didn’t carry through. And yet, time and time again, He forgives. He forgives because He loves us enough; and even more.

I believe I am weak when it comes to lust. I am weak when it involves my emotional side in taking over the logical side of myself. I miss you when I am happy. I miss you when I am sad. And I especially miss you when I am lonely.

But why depend on earthly beings to satisfy our loneliness, lack of happiness, and fill the void of our sadness? Humans at times, can be too in touch with their emotional lack of fulfillment – to the point of where they forget where they came from; of what love is. Who it is.

A prosodiac. A coffee addict. How opposite they can be.

A new beginning.

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Let Me In

Yet another time comes by where it seems I can’t focus on much. I can’t accomplish much without having to be distracted by a fleeting thought of “What is your name?”. Has this happened to me before? Yes, actually – quite recently, in the July of this year. It seems the cycle is not lengthening as it has in the past, but it has become such of a shorter routine. I have come to become quite easily mesmerized; quite simply because of traits I vie for in myself, but have often come short of.

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This moment – which I will come to describe, is quite paradoxical really. I have always done this to someone else, yet I have never come to experience it myself.

Seeing you out of the corner of my peripheral vision, I contemplated whether it would be surprising for me to speak to you. For when I spoke to him this year, it took my utmost amount of courage I had conjured up – yet when I was faced with the same decision yesterday, I could not do it. Possibly it was also because of the mood I was in – moody, indecisive, and longing for more.

You sat behind me. I looked far into the skies and the trees, seeming to search for more. Where I looked, you also saw. When I hastily looked away from inside the passenger’s seat, you followed suit. You seemed to trace every sight I lay my eyes upon. Your scent was not sweet, nor was it savoury. Not even an inch close to what he once smelled like. You had your own unique scent that was.

For when I pulled the cord to signal my departure – I was a bit hoping you would also take the same descent as me. I had no courage to look behind me – to see whether you were following me out. I have become one that is more cowardice than vice. Either it be that I am growing up, or that I have become much less passionate to chase what I want; I only regret not taking that chance.


What is your name? 

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To The Good Old Days

I was reminded by a dear friend today of something very important. Morals of life always seem to pop out at me at the weirdest and yet, coincidently, important times. I thank her for this wisdom which she bestowed upon me.

Why make life difficult? Why make it stressful for oneself when you can bathe in happiness, without it even being of your control? Why must you exert control over everything you touch or see? Is it worth the misery of wondering “what-ifs” and “however’s”?

Let me to let you be happy. To be fortunate in all that you do. But let our paths align for as long as it possibly can. I think you are one amazing being, and with the smiles you direct at others, it is a blessing to have known you personally.

Let us be of who we were of once. To the good old days when we were innocent and kind, gentle yet firm, and also curious but present. Let us dwell in the times of innocence. Gentleness. Reminiscence of vowels. Reminiscence of sounds.

Have you heard this before?

Acoustic Broken Hearts

How do you call this love?

Sometimes you assume it’s just the glance that caught and mesmerized you, but really, it was their whole being and you realize, you’ve fallen.

Fallen deep down into the depths of happiness and consciousness of the fate-driven twined steps.

Borderless glances

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It’s funny how this caption struck me in all the right tones when seeing it. I don’t think I’ve had such a sweet wish encapsulated and played back to me in a dream in a very long time. Dreams only happen when preparation meets opportunity. But there’s always a matter of timing and fate that needs to be just right. 

Being there with you; seeing myself glance at you while you sleep. That was enough to make me giggle at my own happiness. I think with you, my love is unconditional, though I’ve never truly known what “unconditional” was, I finally do realize what it means to be genuinely happy for someone. Without such pride, deceit, jealousy or those horrible attributes that we all posses at any time or another. 

Just truly happy for you and the things that happen to you. Each day ending in the way of reminiscing those sweet moments.