I think today should be a sharing kind of day. I hope my experience manages to touch at least one fellow reader, friend, or Christian.
This song I believe many have come across ever since it was released last year by Hillsong United. Covered, sung, and loved by many, it is a beautiful interpretation that is dependent on the listener and their past experiences which shape the meaning of the song for them.
I am humble to say that last year, I have had my share of time in darkness. During those months, I did not know whether I would live on or not; whether the Lord decided it was time for me to leave. In those solitary moments I knew God to be present. But with the persistent and constant hurdles and struggles I faced, though it was a confusing and sad time, I believed and knew the Lord was there with me.
I would often wonder whether this was the best life I could have fulfilled before life itself was taken from me. Whether the ending could’ve been different if I had chosen a different university, made different choices, loved and befriended different people, done things differently. Living with regret often permeated me through those times. Regret of not loving enough, forgiving enough, hearing enough, listening enough, praising Him enough, believing in Him enough, serving Him enough, worshipping Him enough… the list was endless.
In the aspect of the professionals and friends and family, though it did not seem as if my outcome would be a positive one, the Lord showed them all that ultimately, the result of life and death was not a choice, it was an outcome decided only by our Lord. 10% of survival meant nothing for those whom had the utmost, boundless, faith in our Lord. We were comforted as in Isaiah 9:1 it is written:
Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever.
Nothing is impossible for our Lord. He loves and cares for us. He truly does.
I have a friend who I love very dearly. I will always remember these few sentences in her testimony which I’ve come to love and be reminded by. She speaks of a time in her life when she did not know whether our Lord, the Heavenly Father, was true. She spoke of asking the Lord to save her from a tragic accident or from a huge illness, from which she would realize He was real and loved her very much. After what happened to me last year, though I knew before it happened, and especially after the incident, that the Lord was existent and loving, I am glad that my friend had managed to come to know the Lord in her own accord; without the occurrence of any accident or illness.
Often times we believe nothing bad will ever happen to us. Living in such fortunate and healthy conditions, the chance of being diagnosed with a chronic illness or contracting a deadly disease seems impossible. Life is often taken for granted, and it is only when we lose aspects of it such as food, shelter, the ability to speak, run, hear, are we repentant of the unconditional love the Lord has gave us and realize, nothing is forever. Only our love and faith for the Lord will guide us on.