What Would I Give

So much frustration is on my mind right now. It honestly seems as if I’ve become one of those I’ve only read, or heard of before. You know those people whom never say no to anything, or promise to do whatever you ask them to? I feel as if I’ve succumbed to becoming one of “those”. It can be rather frustrating sometimes. I feel as if I have no time to myself or even to be with my Father. Time that I want to set aside to blog, to do my devotionals, to just do what I love, to be with who I want. I’m so tired.

Maybe this post can be seen as a sad post. As it is filled with my complaints and also anger as I express my thoughts from the past week. Of deadlines looming. Of marks being received. Of people’s expectations falling flat, or being set too high. There’s just too much that I have to be accountable for. Unfortunately, that was the image I built for myself over the years.

One of the bravest things I’ve done over the course of this year so far was talking to you 🙂 I am still rather giddy about it and cannot believe I had the courage or strength to do so. I believe it was the Holy Spirit that was within me to allow the words I’ve wanted to tell you since Day One I saw you, to flow through me.

Unfortunately, do we have much to talk about? No, I do not think so. Although at times, I believe we do favour and desire each other’s company. However, the lack of chemistry  or history is still rather blatant in the silences that fill the air between us. My questions are prodding at times. You still seem to want to answer them wholeheartedly.

But I feel as if this is not how friendships are developed. The strain and also the worry of wanting to not disappoint the other is … disappointing in itself. And even learning that you are not what I thought you to be, I was extremely giddy to learn that you were at the event on a Sunday. You surprised me. The Lord did answer my prayers. I would want to know how the event went for you.

I feel as if my blog posts are incomprehensible for those whom do not know the foreground knowledge that comes within my posts. Just know, I would give anything in the world for us to work. You have currently become my most favouritest person in this world, thus far.

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Never Waver

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Today’s the day where I will recognize that I need to work my butt off to achieve that which I truly want. Nothing rarely comes without effort. And sometimes I forget that little point. We being in a society where things are handed to us so easily with our voice of one command. We need to rid these thoughts and not be so disappointed when failures happen. Instead we mustn’t give up nor be discouraged, but understand, with each fall or trip, we have the power to stand up and walk further with the strength we all presently have within ourselves. Motivate yourselves by seeing that which you desire being presented in front of you after your hard work. And know that you deserve every little bit of it. That is your reward.

Charge On!

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It is done. All done.

Students of all ages look forward to the day when exams, assignments, tutorials, lectures, and deadlines come to an end. With that day comes freedom; at least for a couple of weeks.

Summer 2014. What a summer. New experiences, new friendships, new self-discoveries. I would not trade this Summer over for anything.

In regards for our VBS camp… I am so very proud! Watching 45 kids learn, dance, sing, rejoice, and praise our God was astounding. For those kids whom this experience was a first to learn about our God, having such devoted and amazing leaders and teachers to explain our God and what he does is good. God is good! Everything turned out great in the end even despite some hiccups in staff scheduling. I can’t wait for next years’ camp!

School-wise, I am satisfied with how I had come about tackling the numerous tasks school brings. Not as uptight as I previously was, but still cared enough to not completely let myself down. I think all of us care about everything to some extent. Can’t wait for next semesters’ classes!

Spiritually, I found I did not put enough time aside to be with my Father. This is a huge flaw that I constantly am angry with myself about. It is slowly getting better as I have more time on my hands now, however, I wish that this could be a consistent even when I have other commitments happening alongside.

To up my time-management is a daunting task as it has never been my forte – but bring it on! In Him, I believe I can do anything.