To Love Like Him

If anything, it should make us fight for it, it should make us even more stubborn because we know that if the tables were turned, we would want that kind of love, we would want kind hearts and vulnerable souls and honest feelings. And it’s only fair to give what we want to receive — no matter what the outcome may be.

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Thankful for the God who was, who is, and always will be there for me. Though the season seems to be picking up, I’m seemingly getting sparks of passion for my work. Having strived for this feeling for the longest of time and making uncertain decisions within chaotic periods, it’s good to feel the calm slowly subsiding in.

Whenever one looks at the end, they do not realize that there are many steps that take one from 1, to 100. The many hands, smiles, and laughter that accumulate as wisps of fresh air when the going gets tough. The people whom appear out of thin air, and make an impact in one’s life, without warning.

I thank God for His presence in my life. And to make Him proud, the little steps I take, I’ll keep taking them, for His glory.

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What You Remind Me Of

“I saw you as a nice and pretty girl”.

It’s funny how sometimes what others say, can have an enormous impact on you.

I remember the first time I met you. You came, as if the wind had blown you in. Hair was disheveled, with a lopsided scowl on your face. You did not seem as if you wanted to be there; but were instead forced to.

Your voice is young. The words you use were coarse, but truthful. You encouraged us to try our best. And when the time approached – you disappeared just a few seconds tad of early.

I wanted you to be mine. I was glad, because I had you with me. I didn’t see much of anything, except through the eyes of you.

But sometimes, what we forget is that love is Him. He gave us everything in exchange for our love. But we didn’t carry through. And yet, time and time again, He forgives. He forgives because He loves us enough; and even more.

I believe I am weak when it comes to lust. I am weak when it involves my emotional side in taking over the logical side of myself. I miss you when I am happy. I miss you when I am sad. And I especially miss you when I am lonely.

But why depend on earthly beings to satisfy our loneliness, lack of happiness, and fill the void of our sadness? Humans at times, can be too in touch with their emotional lack of fulfillment – to the point of where they forget where they came from; of what love is. Who it is.

A prosodiac. A coffee addict. How opposite they can be.

A new beginning.

God My Saviour

I have found another song in which I was moved to tears. I have at times, when I come before our Lord – felt ashamed, guilty, lost, confused, and a whole array of emotions in which I feel unworthy to stand before Him. It is not that I have committed a slew of sins, but rather that I have kept him in the background of some of my decisions; rather than the forefront in which we should aim for.

He is my favourite. In this world and in the Heavens. I cannot dream of spending eternity with anyone else. But what is it about certain people I meet in my time here on earth where they captivate me to such lengths, that I become someone else. A different person in my values, beliefs, words, actions – in that instant, I have become someone else. Mostly, it is for the worse, and not for the better.

I know I am to keep our Father as my compass. As the True North for whatever it is that I decide to take on – He knows what is right. Because he sees and is the will, the way, my everything.

But I am thankful. For in the times of when I was at my lowest, I have met people whom God has put into my life to shepherd me and my decisions. They have given me honest thoughts and words that I only gather confidence and wisdom from. And I know it was because of Him, that I was to meet them at that time. God works in mysterious ways sometimes. And I have come to realize, life cannot only be filled with happy moments – because without those lows, we cannot truly put our faith to works, in overcoming obstacles, challenges, despair, and hurt.

Help me O Lord, to take whatever wounds or hurts I may have in life, and just lower them into your hands. Help me to not fret, worry, cry, frustrate – because those are all useless, when you are the one who holds what is to come, in just the pinky of your hands.

I thank the Lord for being there for me when I needed Him most. And to help me realize that in those moments when I am weary and tired, He is there comforting me to see – all that He has prepared for me, if I am to open my eyes and see.

His love on the line for us – day by day He is there and guiding us patiently with his mercy, grace, humbleness, and beautiful and whole, love.

What Would I Give

So much frustration is on my mind right now. It honestly seems as if I’ve become one of those I’ve only read, or heard of before. You know those people whom never say no to anything, or promise to do whatever you ask them to? I feel as if I’ve succumbed to becoming one of “those”. It can be rather frustrating sometimes. I feel as if I have no time to myself or even to be with my Father. Time that I want to set aside to blog, to do my devotionals, to just do what I love, to be with who I want. I’m so tired.

Maybe this post can be seen as a sad post. As it is filled with my complaints and also anger as I express my thoughts from the past week. Of deadlines looming. Of marks being received. Of people’s expectations falling flat, or being set too high. There’s just too much that I have to be accountable for. Unfortunately, that was the image I built for myself over the years.

One of the bravest things I’ve done over the course of this year so far was talking to you 🙂 I am still rather giddy about it and cannot believe I had the courage or strength to do so. I believe it was the Holy Spirit that was within me to allow the words I’ve wanted to tell you since Day One I saw you, to flow through me.

Unfortunately, do we have much to talk about? No, I do not think so. Although at times, I believe we do favour and desire each other’s company. However, the lack of chemistry  or history is still rather blatant in the silences that fill the air between us. My questions are prodding at times. You still seem to want to answer them wholeheartedly.

But I feel as if this is not how friendships are developed. The strain and also the worry of wanting to not disappoint the other is … disappointing in itself. And even learning that you are not what I thought you to be, I was extremely giddy to learn that you were at the event on a Sunday. You surprised me. The Lord did answer my prayers. I would want to know how the event went for you.

I feel as if my blog posts are incomprehensible for those whom do not know the foreground knowledge that comes within my posts. Just know, I would give anything in the world for us to work. You have currently become my most favouritest person in this world, thus far.

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Simplicity [Rend Collective]

I was recently introduced to this lovely tidbit of a song from one of our awesome P&W leaders. As he had brought this song up, he had mentioned that at first he thought this was a love song. He had thought this song to be a love letter to a beloved.

The lyrics are beautiful. My love for my Father is great. I cannot imagine loving anyone more than Him. His love for us is what gave us the breath to breathe today, the ability to wake up. His will is what made me exist in the first place.

“To worship you, in spirit and truth, only you.”

“You’re the reason I sing. The reason I sing. Yes, my heart will sing. How I love you.”

Please, enjoy this song on this day that our Lord has created for us.

With Strength We Embark!

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It truly has been a long time since my fingers have tapped out audible words which appear on the screen in front of you.

This year has been a bit of a roller-coaster. Though not as much as the one back in 2013, the changes this year has thrown onto my doorstep, has been a bit shocking, but happy and also surprisingly wonderful shocks. As I had once said it to a dear companion, I have had “shock attacks” this year, which, in the pretense would not be understood by, except my companion and I.

Starting at yet another post-secondary institution (3 in 3 years!) has been a bit tough on me. Though I am at times, a tougher nut to crack than a walnut (except around my nutcracker friends), I am thankful regardless of where and whom I may meet. For all the memories I make, I know them to be a part of God’s great plan. My footprints and fingerprints, whichever and whatever they may touch, it was meant to be.

One may ask, for how do I know whether this or that, was part of His plan? I do not have much to say (which is surprising at times!), my faith is not built on anything, but His love for me. His love makes me speechless and also full of words that do not necessarily have to be said to be felt or be understood. Those whom have been touched and changed by our Father will understand what it is that I am referring and hold myself dear to.

There is much that I hope to complete by the end of this summer. This semester has become somewhat of a whirlwind as the focus has shifted away from academics, and more onto commitments that I have found much more important than grades.

I pray for my church’s VBS. I pray that we may have enough volunteers and also that those whom do commit their time, will have His wisdom and strength in leading our wonderful group of kids. I pray that our Church will be a loving place where kids may come to learn and grow to love our God for “Ever(est)”. I pray that I may come to be strong and healthy for all that calls for my time and effort during this summer. Lastly, I pray that for all the journeys, trips, marriages, and even the simplest of walks that my friends embark on, they may be safe on their voyages. May they come to walk closer to God with each step. May they come to know of His great love. May they come to have courage in sharing it with others. May we all come to be great disciples in His name and make more under His GREAT NAME!

I am getting rather excited. I’m afraid I’ll have to close it at that.

Take care & blessings,

G

Inspiration + Passion = Motivation

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La vie n’est bonne qu’à deux choses: à faire des mathématiques et à les professer.

Another 4 months has almost passed of this new/old year. We are approaching midpoint of 2015! I am thankful for all that has happened thus far. The relationships formed, the faith restored and renewed, the thankfulness that comes from living each day.

It is amazing to see those whom have passion within what they do. They hold themselves up with the utmost confidence, love, and care that they have for their work. It just seems as if inspiration radiates off with their every word and step. At times, I wonder if I may one day become one like them. It is amazing what can happen when one puts their mind into it. Not at ease, but under challenging strains, we all can do great things.

I have never truly felt comfortable with the academics. Though many around me may think me to be one of “those” whom fly through academia and take it with a grain of salt, I am one who works hard. Seeing those in their comfort zone of educating what they have accumulated over the years of knowledge, still manages to awestruck me, time and time again.

My rambles do get rather confusing over time. However, the main take-out from this beautiful day of today, is that passion is what drives many to do great things in this world. Don’t let comfort or uncertainty scare you away from doing great things! I hope you will take that next step, no matter how fearful it may be, and be one step closer to your goal.

And above all, no matter where or what you may be doing at this moment, remember our Lord is with you through any and everything. This has been my pillar of strength in all that I do. He is the one who knows after of that before we even knew existed, let us give our worries over to Him.

Blessings,

G