Remember

Remember who you found among those winding streets and chilly frosts of air that stemmed from your chuckles as you gasped and laughed. Remember who you decided to leave behind – not by choice, but by another taking the reins for you. Remember.

Stray far from that person who used to be overtaken by so many fears and anxiety. Forget those that wrapped their hands around your lungs. Persevere. Strive. Smile. Move forward. No, even run.

Jump and feel those wings lift you higher and higher up. Away from that which bound you before and realize you aren’t the same; and will never be again. Because you chose our Father. You choose, everyday – to let Him lead your every step. There is certainty in what He decides, and that is where your calming heart is planted.

Dam Square

Hillsong United – Oceans

I think today should be a sharing kind of day. I hope my experience manages to touch at least one fellow reader, friend, or Christian.

This song I believe many have come across ever since it was released last year by Hillsong United. Covered, sung, and loved by many, it is a beautiful interpretation that is dependent on the listener and their past experiences which shape the meaning of the song for them.

I am humble to say that last year, I have had my share of time in darkness. During those months, I did not know whether I would live on or not; whether the Lord decided it was time for me to leave. In those solitary moments I knew God to be present. But with the persistent and constant hurdles and struggles I faced, though it was a confusing and sad time, I believed and knew the Lord was there with me.

I would often wonder whether this was the best life I could have fulfilled before life itself was taken from me. Whether the ending could’ve been different if I had chosen a different university, made different choices, loved and befriended different people, done things differently. Living with regret often permeated me through those times. Regret of not loving enough, forgiving enough, hearing enough, listening enough, praising Him enough, believing in Him enough, serving Him enough, worshipping Him enough… the list was endless.

In the aspect of the professionals and friends and family, though it did not seem as if my outcome would be a positive one, the Lord showed them all that ultimately, the result of life and death was not a choice, it was an outcome decided only by our Lord. 10% of survival meant nothing for those whom had the utmost, boundless, faith in our Lord. We were comforted as in Isaiah 9:1 it is written:

Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever.

Nothing is impossible for our Lord. He loves and cares for us. He truly does.

I have a friend who I love very dearly. I will always remember these few sentences in her testimony which I’ve come to love and be reminded by. She speaks of a time in her life when she did not know whether our Lord, the Heavenly Father, was true. She spoke of asking the Lord to save her from a tragic accident or from a huge illness, from which she would realize He was real and loved her very much. After what happened to me last year, though I knew before it happened, and especially after the incident, that the Lord was existent and loving, I am glad that my friend had managed to come to know the Lord in her own accord; without the occurrence of any accident or illness.

Often times we believe nothing bad will ever happen to us. Living in such fortunate and healthy conditions, the chance of being diagnosed with a chronic illness or contracting a deadly disease seems impossible. Life is often taken for granted, and it is only when we lose aspects of it such as food, shelter, the ability to speak, run, hear, are we repentant of the unconditional love the Lord has gave us and realize, nothing is forever. Only our love and faith for the Lord will guide us on.

Blessings,

G

Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader

So, I had a semi-Narnian-marathon with my friend last night. Sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the screen, at times when I glanced over, I often chuckled at her every expression in response to each of the exciting, sad, happy, and devastating parts of the film. For those of you that may not know, “Narnian” movies are the  set of movies based on the acclaimed series by C.S. Lewis. Written over 50 years ago, it has become a series that is loved by generations of all ages, little children merely learning to read to elders on their rocking chairs, flipping through the pages, devouring the plot line as if they were plagued with literary hunger. Though I was multitasking at the same time and not entirely focused on the movie, I still caught the beauty and story line that came with the dramatic sound effects and intense acting on the characters’ parts.

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There were many parts where subconsciously the elements of Christianity raided my thoughts. I am often one to look and prod for the deeper meaning behind certain parts in the plot. Moments such as where the White Witch tempted Edmund with the riches and splendor if he would take her hand and abandon his title of King on the ship, is reminiscent of the hold that the devil has on certain people in this world and their deep desires. Even Lucy’s wish to become Susan, whom some may deem small, had her realize she forfeited her desire to being Lucy Pevensie and believed she could toss it all away for the mere beauty of Susan’s that she was ever so jealous of and yearned to possess.

Sometimes we humans don’t remember, or think of the many blessings that we’ve been given in this life of ours. Always looking towards the riches of others who possess qualities of being prettier, smarter, taller, thinner, we see so many things that we lack… and just wish we could have it all.

God wants us to be proud and happy with whatever we may have. There are people out there who have to constantly worry about having enough food for the day, or enough clothes to wear to keep warm at night, or even whether they would survive to see the next day. Maybe we’ve been so fortunate to have all our limbs intact, our loving family members alive and well and at our sides, plentiful meals to nourish our bodies by everyday, and things that keep us happy throughout the day, that we forget not everyone is entitled to these basic things that we so easily take for granted.

Be thankful.

For when one day God decides to take it all away, would you still look towards Him with the love and happiness you have now?

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Searching

You know that feeling when you’re searching and searching for that one thing, and when you think you’ve almost got it in your hands, it manages to slip away; leaving you more down than if you had never been given that initial opportunity in that first place? I’ve went through that endless cycle a few times, but thanks to the Lord’s grace, I’ve managed to finally solve this problem once and for all, which I’m super, super thankful for.

I’ve never really liked the feeling of being indebted to people. Sure, lending a hand and helping others is in my nature, so I don’t mind it if it’s coming from me; but to others? I could compare that feeling of a fish being hooked and just dangling there until someone comes along and saves it.

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Luckily with problems, there often comes solutions; and sometimes in a place where you would’ve never expected to find it. Life has many great mysteries, adventures, falling-outs; and sometimes it just takes a little (or a lot!) of time, paired with patience of course.

And thus I leave you with a verse [Isaiah 9:11] that pretty much sums up this long, thankful post:

Nevertheless, that time of darkness will not go on forever.

Do not worry

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

[ Matthew 6:34 ]

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Hope this brings about peace for some. I tend to be more worrisome than the average person, but sometimes we just need to know to let go and place it in the Lord’s hands.